While we are working with others, the very often questions or complains we got from others might be:"Hey, can you control your temper?",or simply feel dislike from people around you.

Being a Product Manager, leadership does not actually comes from your tile but the respect from your team members. Maybe the first thing you need to do is Temper Controlling.
I learnt these things from an HBR article, written by Daniel Goleman. Helps
me a lot when I got to face the dark side of me.

Manage your reaction:

Keep your distaste to yourself

  • No complain to others
  • Keep your support connections outside the office
    Consider whether it’s you, not them
  • “Start with the hypothesis that the person is doing things you don’t like but is a good person,”
  • By better understanding what is bothering you, you may also be able to see your role in it.
    Spend more time with them
  • Develop some empathy
    Consider providing feedback
  • Focus on behaviors that she can control and describe how they impact you and your work together.
  • But proceed cautiously
    Adopt a don’t-care attitude
  • “practice the fine art of emotional detachment or not giving a shit.”

Principles to Remember


  • Manage your own reaction to the behavior first
  • Practice emotional detachment so the person’s behaviors don’t bother you
  • Spend time trying to get to know the person and better understand what motivates him


  • Assume that it is all about the other person — you likely play some part
  • Commiserate with others who could be unfairly influenced by your negativity or may judge you for your complaints
  • Give feedback unless you can focus on work issues and can avoid a personal conflict